


Never did run smooth

by ailyn_moreau



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, otp: winter biochemist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 19:30:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1829587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailyn_moreau/pseuds/ailyn_moreau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky shows up on Jemma’s doorstep after a mission, and things don’t go quite as either of them expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never did run smooth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jadzia_Bear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadzia_Bear/gifts).



> This fic developed from a prompt from Jadzia_Bear (Jemma patching up Bucky’s wounds after a mission). I may write more in this universe.
> 
> Many thanks to snarkylittlespeedster for being a wonderful beta!

“We really need to stop meeting like this,” she said with a small sigh as she continued stitching up Bucky’s arm.  They were in a tiny apartment in Prague, somewhere that was supposedly safe...though considering the state of SHIELD these days one could never quite be sure about that.  He’d shown up out of the blue like he had a tendency to do, bruised and battered and without a word as to why.  She didn’t ask; she didn’t want to know.  They were working for the same side now, but she didn’t want to know the details of his missions.  She’d been through enough by now that she didn’t need to add to her own nightmares.

A tiny, wry smile crossed his face.  “Somehow I don’t think that’s in the cards for us any time soon.”

“No, probably not.  I’m leaving tomorrow anyway.”  They didn’t have a lot of agents these days, hardly more than her team, Romanoff, Rogers, and Barnes, so she’d come to Prague alone to make the latest information exchange with a source inside HYDRA.  There wasn’t ever any face to face contact, just drop-offs and pick-ups at scheduled times, so it was a safe enough assignment to give her.

A frown crossed his face at that, posture stiffening slightly.  “Wait, they sent you alone?”

It was only his movement that caused her to pause her sutures, and she looked up into his eyes.  “It was just a drop off and pick up.  I’m perfectly capable of handling that on my own and it’s not like we have a lot of agents to spare.  Besides, it’s all done.  Now stay still so I can finish stitching your arm up.”  The gash had been fairly deep, but far from the worst thing he’d come to her with.

“Jemma, they shouldn’t be sending you alone.  You’re not a field agent.”

Her head snapped back up, irritation glistening in her eyes.  She hadn’t started out as a field agent, and perhaps still technically wasn’t one, but from the first time she’d set foot on the Bus trouble had been finding its way to her no matter how much she tried to avoid it.  The only pause in all of it had been the six months she’d spent with Bucky helping to rehabilitate him.  It had been quite the surprise to find both Steve and Bucky showing up on their doorstep at the Playground looking for help.  Or, more specifically, her help.  “That hasn’t exactly stopped me from ending up in the field anyway, now has it?  This isn’t a year ago, I don’t have the luxury of staying in a lab anymore.”

“Yes, but surely we have other people-”

“Like who?  You?”  She made a short, derisive noise.  “We just don’t have that many agents, and for a low-risk assignment they’re not going to send someone like you or Trip or May.  Not when you can be better used elsewhere.”  She didn’t realize just how bitter the words sounded until they had already left her mouth.

“Jemma…”

“I don’t want to talk about it.  Just...let me get you patched up, alright?”  Her tone softened as she tried to change the subject.  For as little as she got to see him she didn’t want to waste their time fighting over things that couldn’t be changed.  

“You really shouldn’t have waited this long before getting help,” she admonished gently.  This was the last of a rather frightening looking set of injuries she’d been helping him with during the course of the evening.  Cracked ribs, dislocated shoulder, sprained wrist, and numerous cuts and bruises, though the one she was stitching was the worst of the lot.  She’d seen worse, but that didn’t matter.  Any time he showed up hurt she couldn’t help just how her heart leapt into her throat, how her stomach clenched with anxiety over whether this would be the time he was beyond her ability to help.  And every time he left she couldn’t entirely get past the lingering worry that she wouldn’t see him again.  “Surely there must have been someone closer.”

“I don’t trust anyone but you to do this.”

“But what about…”

He shook his head.  “The only reason I’m helping SHIELD is because they’re trying to take down the people who did that to me.  I don’t trust them, or whatever random agent might be nearby.  I trust _you_.”

She was quiet after that, choosing to focus on finishing up his arm while she let that sink in.  They’d developed a bond while he was her patient, a very close one if she were to be honest.  One that pushed the boundaries of what a doctor/patient relationship should be.  However, it was hard not to considering the intimacy of what she’d had to do.  To help rebuild his mind, to break his programming, to help him become _himself_ again.  It was impossible to do that without trust on a level that far surpassed what would be required in most situations.  She hadn’t realized that he refused to let anyone else to treat him, however.

“But what if you couldn’t get to me?  It’s not like we have a lot of proximity to each other these days.  Not like we used to.  I hate it when you get hurt, and I’m not going to accept you making it worse by being stubborn and refusing treatment just because I can’t get to you in time!”  The very idea that he might put himself at risk just because she wasn’t close enough to help frightened her more than she could say.  She couldn’t accept the idea of losing him to something like that, something _preventable_.  She had a hard enough time dealing with the fact each time they said goodbye might be their last, knowing this was only making it all worse.

He reached across the table with his real arm, hand reaching out to cover hers while he crooked a finger under her chin with his metal hand, tilting it gently up so as to meet his eyes.  “I’m good at taking care of myself.  You know that.  If you’re not close enough then I’ll make do.”

“That’s not good enough, Bucky.  I don’t want you making do, I want you coming back to me _alive_.”  She needed him to come back to her, and just how strongly she felt that scared her.  She didn’t know what she’d do if he didn’t.  “Please, you’ve got to promise me you won’t do anything stupid if I can’t get to you in time.”

He looked away.  “I don’t know if I can do that.  I can’t let just anyone touch me like that, I can’t give someone I don’t know that sort of control.”

“And so you’d rather bleed out on a mission than accept someone’s aid?  Have you ever considered what that might do to Steve?  What that might do to _me?_  I can’t accept letting the person I love die because they are too stubborn to get help!”  The passionate words escaped her before she realized it, and her free hand flew to her mouth the instant she did.  It had always been clear that they cared for each other, but they’d never said much to that extent, and certainly nothing on the level of her impromptu confession.  

She stared at him in shock for a long moment, only just coming to terms with what had slipped from her lips.  The moment she could finally move she stood from the table, turning away and fleeing to the balcony.  She had to get some air.  She couldn’t deal with him rejecting her like he was bound to, not right then.  She needed to collect herself first.  She needed to…

She didn’t have time to finish the thought before there was a hand on her shoulder spinning her around.  She hesitantly looked back up at Bucky but before she knew it his arms were around her, holding her close, and the distance between them had all but faded away as he pressed his lips to hers.  There was nothing tentative about the way he kissed her; it was yearning and passionate and her pulse thrummed her in her veins in time with the rapid beating of her heart as her mouth moved in tandem with his.  It was years of built up tension finally releasing itself in a way she’d never expected him to reciprocate.

When the kiss finally ended they stood there, holding each other close.  “I didn’t think you…” she whispered, still amazed at what had just happened.

He gave a low chuckle.  “And I didn’t think you would feel that way about me either, but here we are.”

“So you understand why I can’t lose you, then.  I already almost lost Fitz, I can’t...”  Her voice caught as she spoke, unable to finish the thought.  She couldn’t do that again.  It had been agonizing enough almost losing her best friend, she couldn’t bear losing someone she cared about so deeply, someone she loved.

He pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.  She closed her eyes as she held him closer, trying to take comfort in the fact that he was here, but she couldn’t escape her fear of what would happen when he wasn’t.  This was only a brief interlude, a chance meeting and it would be over all too soon leaving her in a state of constant worry again.

“The only people I trust to get that close are you, Steve, and Natasha, and out of the three of you you’re the only doctor.  After what HYDRA did to me I just...I can’t…”  He held her closer still, head dropping to bury itself in her hair.

Of course that was it.  What had been done to him was a violation of the worst kind, and coming back from it hadn’t been easy.  She’d been there, she'd seen it, the extent of the damage to his mind, just how hard he’d fought to get some semblance of identity back.  She’d hoped he’d been able to move past it enough to accept some medical help from others, but maybe he’d just kept that from her to keep her from worrying.  Not that it mattered now.  She knew, and she understood.  He’d rather die than let that happen to himself again, and anyone that he didn’t know coming at him offering help...she could see why he’d be afraid.

Now that she knew, however, they needed to change how they worked.  She couldn’t let him make things worse just because she was halfway around the world from him and couldn’t reach him in time, if she even knew he needed help.  “Then I’ll start going with you.  I’ll be your backup.”

His head popped back up, eyes widening slightly as he stared back into her own.  “But that would put you in danger-”

“No more than usual!  Last I checked we both worked for the same agency, and I’m pretty sure that means we both signed up to take that risk.  At least if we worked together I’d be nearby when you need help.”

“You’re not a field agent-”

“We already discussed that.  I’m pretty damn well able to take care of myself these days.  I’m much more capable in that respect than when we first met.   _You_ were the one who taught me to shoot, you know.  Do you have that little faith in your teaching?”

He made a small grunt, as if conceding to her point.  “Coulson won’t like it.”

She gave a little, defiant hmph.  “I don’t bloody well care whether Coulson likes or not.  If that’s the only way to make sure that you come home safe then that’s how it’s going to be or he can lose his top scientist as far as I’m concerned.”

She heard an amused chuckle come from Bucky.  “And _that_ is one of the reasons I love you.”  He was quiet for a long moment after, clearly considering what to say next carefully.  “ _If_ we do this,” he started slowly, “there are going to be rules.  I can’t have you getting too close to some of these missions, they’re too dangerous and I’ll be too worried about you to keep focused.”

She nodded.  “As long as I’m close enough to help you when you need it, I can live with that.”

He let out a long breath, running a hand through his hair, and looking up.  “I can’t believe I’m even considering this.”

“It’s the right thing to do.  Do you know how terrified I am that you won’t come back to me?  Every time you leave again I…” she couldn’t even finish speaking the words.  Everything that they’d stirred up was loosening her control on her emotions, and she found her eyes beginning to well.  She blinked a couple times to chase the wetness away, refusing to let anything fall in front of him.  “This is the best solution for both of us,” she said softly.

He cupped her cheek gently and pulled her in for another long kiss.  It was different from the first, this one gentler, comforting, and it sparked a warmth throughout her body that was both exhilarating and soothing at the same time.  When they parted, he rested his forehead against hers.  “...alright.  When we get back, we’ll talk to Coulson about it.  But I don’t want to talk about business anymore.  Not tonight.”  He voice was low and husky, and tinged with something that Jemma could positively feel resonate inside her.

“Then we won’t,” she agreed, going in for another kiss.  Tomorrow they could deal with SHIELD, but tonight would be just for them.


End file.
